Delete Marketing Fluff - Page 4
January 18, 2002
Filter out the hyperbole
Exaggeration makes your text less useful than objective prose. In
one study by Nielsen (1997b), the objective language was 27%
more usable than the promotional language because people
understood the plain language faster, made fewer errors, and
remembered the ideas longer. Nielsen hypothesized that people
have to spend extra energy "filtering out the hyperbole to get at
the facts."
If you routinely describe your company with adjectives such as
premier, top-rated, and world-class, you
need to calm down. Let the facts speak for you. You don't need to
give up your enthusiasm, just your adjectives and adverbs.
Be direct
Users mistrust anything that looks like an ad, so they tend to
ignore logos, mission statements, and slogans.
If you want to earn your users' trust, turn down the hype. As
Bricklin says, "Simple, direct language works better on-screen
than flowery or 'marketing-oriented' prose."
You can still do plenty of marketing on the Web. You just have to
make your case with nouns and verbs, rather than adjectives and
adverbs, particularly the ones that suggest you are being swept
away by emotion or your own hype.
Features and benefits, yes. Hand-waving, no
If you are marketing a service or product, you have to point out
your unique selling proposition, and you must stress the features
and benefits. But keep the explanations simple and cut back on
the exclamation points.
If you absolutely positively must have an adverb or two, well OK.
Just make sure they don't look, well, silly.
Examples
Before
As the world's premier provider of e-mail services to the beauty
industry, we are extremely proud to offer you the most
imaginative creation and fastest delivery of highly targeted e-
mail messages aimed at consumers, spa owners, and staff in beauty
boutiques.
|
After
If you want to send e-mail marketing beauty products to
consumers, spa owners, or staff at beauty boutiques, let us help
you create and deliver targeted messages.
|
Before
Welcome to the incredibly useful Form Filler, with the
revolutionary algorithm for filling in forms for you. No more
remembering user names and passwords. No more typing the same
address over and over. FormFiller is just so easy. You click
once, and the form is filled in with your information. Our world-
class recognition software reads the form and figures out what
information should go where, enters that, and presses Enter, so
the login form just whisks away. And it's super safe, because
your personal information lives on your own computer, encrypted
so no one else can read it.
|
After
The FormFiller bar saves you time by filling in forms for you.
It's easy. You don't have to type the same information over and
over. It's fast. You enter the information once, and FormFiller
does it for you from then on. One click, and the form is filled .
It's safe. Your personal information is secure on your own
computer, encrypted so no one else can read it.
|
| If visitors want this... |
How well does this guideline apply? |
| TO HAVE FUN |
Only a marketing manager thinks that raving about your
product will actually amuse people. |
| TO LEARN |
Any fluff interferes with learning. Cut it out. If you must
save the promotional lingo, move it to a different location. |
| TO ACT |
Marketing themes distract from instructions. |
| TO BE AWARE |
If you can't tell the truth about your topic, you're not
making anyone more aware. You may fool some folks, or annoy them,
but most people will react with anger when they encounter a pitch
along the path to enlightenment. |
| TO GET CLOSE TO PEOPLE |
Acceptable. You can be carried away with enthusiasm for your
product or service. But if we suspect that you are insincere, or
just voicing the party line, we delete your message. |
See: Bricklin (1998), Morkes & Nielsen (1997), Nielsen (1997b,
1999f, 2000a, 2000b), Spyridakis (2000).
Make Each Paragraph Short - Page 3
Hot Text: Web Writing that Works
Move Vital but Tangential or Supplemental Material - Page 5
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